This is what we spoke about in therapy today. He laughed and said, How much time do we have. I said, "50 min!!"
Its very clear that whilst I love Tim, I have a level of attachment to him. (Duh says anyone with any psychology degree) Not that this hasn't been widely acknowledged myself during the course of our relationship, its just been harder to actually detach from that attachment.
I try. I really do. Its just very very hard. When you still love someone and you know they love you as well, its not easy to just pull away.
I keep thinking today is the day. Its a Tuesday and he's going to send me an email saying he's slept with a guy.
The more I understand him, the more i feel confident that he isn't bisexual, but rather has a fetish.
I feel some comfort in that. That understanding doesn't help me much if I'm going to be honest.
Makes me feel bad for him. That he's stuck in this compulsion this obsession. But if he doesn't want to understand himself- then why should I want that for him?
Well more so i can want that for him, but not try and force him to want it.
Today has been tough with work and therapy, but a day full of insight and self-compassion. I'll chock it up to a win. <3
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