Straight Porn is my reality

A conversation today where I asked if he watched porn where the girls shake their butts. But I knew the answer so I immediately followed it up with "wait, you don't even watch straight porn do you?"

He just did is little shrug and said in the weakest guiltiest voice, "yeah."

But he doesn't. And not that that matters to me. I don't always want to admit the type of porn I'm watching. 

But as I think about it, it starts to bother me. This is the man I want babies with. And then I think about why this should bother me. In the public he's good to people.  And people like him. It's not like they can see behind closed doors. 

But then I realized, I'm behind closed doors. This is my life. What is on this side of the door is my reality. I have to deal with the fact he wants to sleep with men. I have to deal with the fact that the porn he wants to watch are two preteen scrawny men. My reality is he wants penises. That's behind closed doors. Not for public viewing. 

This is my reality.