I have always and forever only written when I'm upset. So here I am. Writing.
We have ended it. Its not because he's bisexual and not because I wasn't able to change. I ended it because betrayal can only be excused so many times.
The realization that I'm not going to be capable of a healthy long term relationship is a bit daunting. Fact is, even if I met the most amazing guy, I have fundamental trust issues, abandonment shit, and a whole stream of things that even the most patient person would find crazy.
I don't know how to let go of people. Therefore I feel this need to leave Melbourne. I know run, right?
But I don't feel like I'm running from myself. I'm running from the situation. I'm putting distance between me and a problem. I'm seeking solace in learning a new place and taking my mind off of the pain. In fact, leaving would help me heal faster. Out of sight out of mind. No way can I just pop by for little things. Rip the band aid off. That's what moving would do for me.
I need to move.
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